Tuesday, March 8, 2011

right now - today - this week

I got up this morning not in the mood to start the day. I've been up a lot the past couple of nights and was tired...and the house was cold... and about the last thing I felt like doing was bundling up and going out to the barn to feed.

A heavy fog was settled over everything and as I left the house I decided to grab my camera (my new one, which I dearly love!) and maybe take a few pictures. I was almost out to the barn before I noticed a whole herd of deer bedded down in the pasture behind the house.

I stopped and took a few pictures and when they started to move away I went into the barn and started my morning barn routine (throw hay, break ice, haul water, rake and shovel manure.. and finish with "hugs" and a little conversation with Murphy, Tucker and Brighty).

As I walked back to the house I played a mental game I play sometimes when the constant demands of caregiving start to wear on me...  It's a pretty simple game, and I thought I'd invite you to play it with me. All you do is imagine your time is entirely your own, you can do anything you'd like with it... no responsibilities, no expectations... what would you do right now, what would you do today, what would you do this week?  I try to keep my plans realistic, something that would really  be possible to do (I never imagine running out and buying a Mercedes or paying off the house!) but that's the only "rule" I follow.

Right now... this is a no-brainer... I'd turn the electric blanket on and get back into bed and sleep (in a quiet house) until I woke up naturally.

Mmmm... a nice toasty bed would feel so good right now.

Today...  I'd laze around for awhile picking a little on the banjo... I have a song I'm trying to pick out, I've got the melody down but have just started working on which runs and slides to put with it. I would eat lays potato chips, washed down by diet Dr Pepper (yeah, I still miss it!) with a little chocolate for dessert. (M is still on a fairly limited diet... can you tell?!) When I got tired of being home, I'd head into Denver and spend a couple of hours in my favorite music store, looking for any new books they might have of banjo music, and keeping my eyes open for a good beginning dulcimer book. I'd also have them pull one of the expensive banjos down off the wall and I'd sit for awhile and play it. I'd stop for dinner on the way home... nothing fancy... maybe  chipotle... a burrito sounds good, or maybe I'd stop for some Indian fry bread. I'd finish up the day with a good book and a cup of tea before going to bed whenever I was tired.

This week... Hmm, a whole week to do whatever I want with...  I think I'd grab the credit card, toss the kids in the car and take off.  We'd head north first, and revisit Mt Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and the Wild Horse Sanctuary. We would only stay in nice motels with pools, the Disney channel, and pay per view movies. M's stomach would be doing well enough that we could eat what we wanted without him getting sick. Once we were tired of So Dakota we'd head east and stop in Greeley for a visit with my cousin MJ... we'd make sure to drive out to Great-Grandpa's homestead while we were there and spend a little time exploring. Then we'd turn the car south and drive down into Kansas to visit my sister. We'd take our time, visiting all the little museums and things we'd see along the way. We'd spend a day or two in Cottonwood Falls, staying up too late talking, before heading west again towards home.

That's it... the end of the game... it's not as good as really doing those things, but it's still pretty fun to think about. :)

 So imagine... no responsibilities, deadlines, expectations... what would you do right now - today - this week?

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