Yesterday was tough.... there are no two ways about it.
After picking S up on Saturday after a blow up (both she and foster mom blowing up!), the plan was to take her back to her foster home yesterday. There was a staffing yesterday and all the "important" people would be there (GAL, worker, foster mom, etc) so it made sense that the meeting would be a good time to get things sorted out.
Only S really didn't want to go back... She was willing to go to the crisis center rather than return to that home.
She let her therapist and caseworker know and we met the caseworker for a "just her and S" meeting before the bigger meeting.
After talking to S she and the GAL decided she shouldn't return to the home...
And of course, the next question was could I keep her for a few days while they found a place for her. I said yes, but only for a week... give or take a few days.
Then we had to go back to the home to get some of S's things. I was worried... frightened probably isn't too strong a word... because I knew the foster mom would get ugly... and I wasn't looking forward to it.
And she did get ugly... telling S that "you'll never have a family" and saying angry, hateful things to me as well.
M was so angry at the things the foster mom said that he had to leave the house, fists balled up, psychotic voices yelling inside his head, full of impotent fury. R was much the same (only without the voices!)... the foster mom actually lied to R during the ordeal to get her out of the room so she could attack S verbally! R was angry, furious that an adult would act the way this woman did.
S is no angel... she can yell and swear when she's angry (I've never seen it, but I know she does...) and can be a master at creating her own reality, but that's easier to understand coming from a person with her history of abuse, than from a foster parent who is supposed to be the "stable" one.
Today we will try to recharge and put yesterday behind us...
Tomorrow the GAL comes to make sure my home is safe enough for S to stay for a few more days.
Small blessings to savor? My children's finalized adoptions, being able to delete that foster mom's name and number from my address book, a nice warm cup of tea, a quiet house, and a surprising a tiny fawn grazing in the back pasture...