The end of an era 😢

 Joe’s folk’s house is sold, closing is on the 21st. This is a necessary step, but so sad for everyone. Joe’s parents designed and had the house built around 1972/1973. It’s been the family gathering place ever since… It’s been a part of my life since Joe and I started dating when I was 17. We all gathered there together for every holiday, and grieved there together after every funeral. 

Joe’s dad died in that house. 

It is a strong, but quirky house, built for a family of 13 kids. It has eight tiny little bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a huge two sided fireplace in the “step down” living room. It has a small “galley” kitchen which over looks the dining area which is big enough for one table that seats 10, plus one or two smaller tables for 4. That was never enough seats, of course, we usually had 30-40 people for holiday dinners.. so the rest of us sat in the living room, or even just stood in the kitchen… visiting while we ate. After dinner, when the noise level got to just be too much, I’d start clearing the tables and head into the kitchen to start the clean up. Clean up was always a nice, companionable time… Joe’s mom, one or two of his sisters, and myself and whoever else wandered in to help working together, bringing a bit of order out of chaos.

Our wedding rehearsal dinner was held in that house, and two of our babies were baptized there. It’s hard to imagine someone else living there.

But the house is old and needs work… and we are too old to take on the job, even if we did have the money to buy it. 

Which we don’t. 

I am surely going to miss it though. I learned a lot in that house during in the 48 years we were acquainted…

I learned that cooking for a crowd isn’t a big deal, just keep putting food on the table.

I learned to waste nothing, scraping the pot well might give someone an extra helping of mashed potatoes.

I learned that just being together can be a joyous celebration, or a comfort in grief.

I learned that the best kitchens always have a cookie jar (or old Tupperware box) full of homemade cookies.

I learned that “fake it til you make it” is a good way for a shy person to manage in a group of 30 or so close relatives.

I learned to get out of the way quick when the “boys” start horsing around.

I learned there’s always space at the table for someone who needs family on a holiday, or any day.

I learned that holding hands in a circle and praying together is powerful and holy.

I learned countless other things in that house, too many to list…

…it’s a place close to my heart.

Some of us gathered there yesterday, pandemic or not, for one last family get together in the house. Joe’s mom was there, most of her children, a few grandchildren and one of her great grandchildren. 

I took pictures, wanting to freeze time… to keep the house, and all of us together, forever. 

But that is not to be, of course. 😢

A few pictures:

Joe’s oldest sister, his mom, me and Joe (caught in mid blink!) Love the group on the background… that’s how it always was… people everywhere, visiting and enjoying being together.

M visiting with Grandma and giving her a kiss…I’m not sure she knew much of what was going on around her, but she always seems to enjoy having her family around.

Joe’s mom “helping” his brother with one of her great grandbabies… she still loves babies! 

 

Joe…

…and his mom with her three daughters…

I’m going to miss that place so much… 

Grandma’s 90th Birthday

 We went to Arvada on Sunday for Grandma’s 90th birthday party. It was an outside event, and simple… just family, time to visit, and a little cake and ice cream. Simple is good.

R got to hold the newest member of the family 3 (4?) week old Theo. That was the highlight of her day for sure…

Grandma seemed to love the babies too, and looked so happy just watching them.

I didn’t take many pictures, but like this one of the grandkids and great grandkids who were there (plus a couple of aunts).

Poker Party!

 After missing last year’s poker party due to the pandemic, we took a little bit of a chance and let M have one this year. 

It felt good to have a normal kind of event after more than a year of socially distancing. 

We know the pandemic isn’t over yet, but we carefully minimized the risks (kept the guest count low, only inviting friends who were fully vaccinated, etc) and felt like… this time…the benefits were worth the risks.

I’m so glad M has such good friends,..

Rockies Game

 We celebrated Joe’s 65th birthday with box seats at a Rockies game. It was so good to all be together like this after more than a year of being so careful and not being able to get together like we usually do. 

There were even a couple of extra tickets for Dave and Tom. I loved seeing the three brothers watching the game together and just being able to hang out. Such a blessing…

My favorite picture from the game is this one with Tom photobombing… It makes me laugh every time!

 

her locs rock!

R finally got her locs!

It took almost a year, several false starts and dead ends, and emotions ranging from extreme disappointment to over-the-top excitement. (we are talking about a 14 year old girl, you know..)

But they are done.

The woman doing her locks is amazing... and even came to the house to do them.

We decided to go with locks because they are a natural style for her hair (no nasty, damaging, straightening chemicals) and celebrate the beauty of her hair just as God made it...

I feel strongly that, regardless of the messages she gets from popular culture, she knows that her hair doesn't need to look like caucasian hair to be beautiful. It doesn't need to be straightened, slicked down, cut off, or have extensions added. It's beautiful with all the texture she was born with (a texture that is especially good for locks!).

It took almost 5 hours to put them all in... there are literally hundreds of tiny locks!

Yes, they are permanent, and they will be very good for her hair... it will probably grow much longer locked, than it would have otherwise. (Which makes R very happy!)

They haven't even fully locked yet, but R is already thrilled with them...

lapbooks and other stuff

I finally have a few minutes to post some pictures of the kid's Election Day lapbooks. I think they turned out well, and the kids definitely learned a lot from the unit study.

 It's been a busy week. K, the youngest of our birth children turned 21 (yikes!) so we drove up to see her on Friday, then R stayed the night and K brought her home Saturday afternoon. We had the big family celebration on Saturday evening. This is such a milestone for K, and I'm so proud of the person she's grown into... She just graduated this past May with a degree in Psychology, and works full-time at Crossroads Safehouse (for victims of domestic abuse). She is so excited and committed to the work she's doing... and she seems happy... so life is good for her.

R was over-the-top excited about spending the night with K, but she was also seriously stressed out by M and I leaving her in a strange town, 90 miles away from home. For the first couple of hours we were gone, she called me about every 15 minutes. She did eventually relax a little and the girls had their nails done, went out for dinner, and ended up eating ice cream while watching movies. All in all I think they had a wonderful time, and by the time Saturday came, R wasn't sure she wanted to come home after all!

 M is, unfortunately, really struggling right now. We're still adjusting meds (the endless medication adjustments... do they EVER end?!) and he's more symptomatic than usual. It was hard getting him through the birthday dinner on Saturday, but yesterday was a better day for him.

I'm supposed to talk to the pdoc tomorrow night... During the past really difficult month with M, she's been mostly absent from things. She's emailed a couple of times, but, for the most part, she's been too busy... for a long time... to be very involved. The good news is I've gotten used to being on my own... not counting on her for help or support. The bad news is that when she has a minute to be more involved, like now, it's hard to let her. I don't trust her to stick around for more than a day or two before getting impossibly busy again, and I'm the one who has to live with the outcome from whatever med changes she suggests (not her!) so it's hard to blindly follow her suggestions the way I used to. 

Sigh... I really don't want to talk to her, she always asks a lot of questions, then either makes recommendations of things we've already done, or comes up with ideas of things we haven't tried, but says she has to research them before we do anything. But she never seems to research them and doesn't mention them again for months (if at all).

Can you tell I'm feeling a little cranky about the whole thing?

 Anyway... here are the pictures of the lapbooks.

This is the project pack book I used to plan and put together the unit study and lapbooks:

Here's one of the lapbooks...

I'm happy with how they turned out. I think our next unit study will be something totally different... probably rocks and minerals.

We're back...

... from the wedding, and I've got LOTS of pictures to share. 

 The wedding was wonderful... E (dd#1) did an incredible job of planning it. It was beautiful, tastefully done, and went off without a hitch. I told her she needs to think about a career as a wedding or event planner. Everything... from our check-in at the hotel to the brunch we all shared before they left on their honeymoon... was flawless. 

 We got in late Monday night and our room was amazing... It was a "panorama suite" on the 34th floor of Planet Hollywood, it was huge (approximately the same size as our first house)  having two bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchen area, and three sitting areas... and (the best part!) it had a 180 view of the Las Vegas skyline.

 

 This was M's favorite spot to relax and watch TV...

 

 We had a great view of the dancing waters at the Bellagio Casino. Every 30 minutes or so during the evening there is a series of fountains and water jets that come up from the pool, all set to music. 

It's a pretty amazing show...

 

 Tuesday morning the kids and I wandered down the strip looking for breakfast. I decided that we'd go hungry before we spent $16. each for room service breakfasts so we started walking... 

Luckily we found a Mc D's just a few blocks away. (Wandering down the strip with the kids was a whole different experience... talk about culture shock!   

 We spent the rest of the day getting ready for the wedding... We made a quick trip to rent suits for dh and M (and met the most wonderful cab driver in the process... we ended up taking him out for lunch.... it was an interesting afternoon!) and then headed back to the hotel. 

 After we all got dressed, R and I headed down to E's room where she and the kids, and her bridesmaids were all getting ready for the wedding...

 

 K (dd#3) and R..

.  

 My girls and I, ready to head downstairs for the wedding...

 

 We met up with the boys downstairs and went into the chapel for the wedding. M and B (dd#2)

 

 M was my escort down the aisle and R was guest book attendant (here she is pretending to be frightened of us as we came to sign the guest book!)

 

 The wedding was beautiful and very traditional... By the time the clergyman who did the wedding started reading 1st Corinthians 13 there was not a dry eye in the chapel. 

 My grandaughter was flower girl (and my older grandson was ring bearer). After the wedding my grandaughter decided the place looked messy and carefully picked up all the flower petals she had tossed while walking down the aisle...

 

 Here's the wedding party right after the wedding...

 

 Are you tired of pictures yet? 

I hope not because I've got more! 

 Here's a picture of E and S, her matron of honor (and best friend since 2nd grade). It was almost strange to see these two beautiful women standing there when it seems like just yesterday that they were little girls... stepdancing and going to Girl Scout camp together, and I was yelling at them for giggling all night during sleep overs... 

 Aren't they lovely? 

 

 E and her attendants - clockwise from top left: S, our daughters B and K, and "St" (E's sister in law)

 

 Dh and E....

 

 The reception was wonderful... They had a sit down dinner (Mmm... filet mignon!) followed by dancing. 

 M loves to dance. He danced with his sisters and virtually every other woman at the wedding, some several times! (here he is dancing with B)

 

 .... and he danced by himself. He was in heaven!

 

 E and J and the kids (and one extra niece) dancing...

 

 That's all for now, I'll have to finish this post tomorrow...

I haven't had time to blog, there's been just too much going on here... 

 Some families spread their events.... graduations, weddings, etc... out over a period of years. 

 But in our family we save time and just do everything at once! 

 K's (dd#3) graduation party was last Saturday and it was a wonderful party... We had mostly just family over, but Dh's family is so big that the house was full to overflowing! 

 After lots of congratulations, conversation, and eating (way too much), we all ended up outside for some wild and mostly rule-less volleyball.... Players routinely switched teams, we were seldom sure whose serve it was so whoever had the ball just served it, we implemented the "once bounce rule" since so few of us could hit the ball before it bounced (at times the game looked more like four square then volleyball!), and we had to be very careful not to hit the hall too hard because just a few feet past the out of bounds line was the steep slope down into the dry lake bed. (This was not a problem for me however, since I would had to have actually hit the ball before risking hitting it down the hill... There are benefits to being hopeless at any activity requiring eye/hand coordination!) Several times the game had to stop while someone scrambled down the hill to get the ball. It was a wild game, but fun... and we were all worn out afterwards.  

So... that was Saturday. 

 On Sunday, Dh went down to our oldest daughter's house to babysit so she and J (fiance) could go out for dinner. While they were gone, she called here... asking what I was doing this weekend. I told her I was busy and that's when she sprung the news that she and J had decided to get married sooner rather than later. 

Sooner... as in next week! 

 Oh, and they aren't going to get married here in Colorado... they're going to  Las Vegas... could we come too? 

 Needless to say we said yes... only later thinking about the logistics of getting us all there. 

 The past week has been a blur... See, E's not planning a typical quick Las Vegas wedding...  She's planning a traditional wedding, with all the bells and whistles, and she's putting it all together in one week! 

 I've booked our flight, found someone to housesit and take care of the animals, gone with E to shop for her dress, and shopped for wedding clothes for M and R. 

 It doesn't sound like much, I know... but while I was doing those things I was also patching up Blaze (who evidently got tangled up in a cattle panel I had stored behind the barn, and ended up with cuts on three legs and his chest!), nursing a sick dog, having an intake done with our county mental health organization for M, and then taking him for a second opinion consult appointment with one of their pdocs. Today I'm driving 90 miles north to help K, (dd#3) move into a new apartment... 

 It's been a wild week. 

 Adding to the excitement... the decrease in haldol seems to have finally caught up with M. (Or probably more accurately, the decrease combined with the loss of structure and added excitement of getting ready for the wedding has caught up with him.) He's destabilized... making everything we are doing so much harder. He's not handling car drives at all well, and is having almost daily meltdowns... during some of them he's disconnecting and becoming paranoid. 

 I'm not sure just how I'm going to get M through this trip to Las Vegas (probably lots of prayer and medication!), but it's going to happen... 

 So anyway... things are incredibly busy here right now but it's mostly a good kind of busy, it's so amazing to be celebrating these milestones with our "big girls". 

Here's the happy couple...

 

 And their three beautiful children...