Joe’s folk’s house is sold, closing is on the 21st. This is a necessary step, but so sad for everyone. Joe’s parents designed and had the house built around 1972/1973. It’s been the family gathering place ever since… It’s been a part of my life since Joe and I started dating when I was 17. We all gathered there together for every holiday, and grieved there together after every funeral.
Joe’s dad died in that house.
It is a strong, but quirky house, built for a family of 13 kids. It has eight tiny little bedrooms, four bathrooms, and a huge two sided fireplace in the “step down” living room. It has a small “galley” kitchen which over looks the dining area which is big enough for one table that seats 10, plus one or two smaller tables for 4. That was never enough seats, of course, we usually had 30-40 people for holiday dinners.. so the rest of us sat in the living room, or even just stood in the kitchen… visiting while we ate. After dinner, when the noise level got to just be too much, I’d start clearing the tables and head into the kitchen to start the clean up. Clean up was always a nice, companionable time… Joe’s mom, one or two of his sisters, and myself and whoever else wandered in to help working together, bringing a bit of order out of chaos.
Our wedding rehearsal dinner was held in that house, and two of our babies were baptized there. It’s hard to imagine someone else living there.
But the house is old and needs work… and we are too old to take on the job, even if we did have the money to buy it.
Which we don’t.
I am surely going to miss it though. I learned a lot in that house during in the 48 years we were acquainted…
I learned that cooking for a crowd isn’t a big deal, just keep putting food on the table.
I learned to waste nothing, scraping the pot well might give someone an extra helping of mashed potatoes.
I learned that just being together can be a joyous celebration, or a comfort in grief.
I learned that the best kitchens always have a cookie jar (or old Tupperware box) full of homemade cookies.
I learned that “fake it til you make it” is a good way for a shy person to manage in a group of 30 or so close relatives.
I learned to get out of the way quick when the “boys” start horsing around.
I learned there’s always space at the table for someone who needs family on a holiday, or any day.
I learned that holding hands in a circle and praying together is powerful and holy.
I learned countless other things in that house, too many to list…
…it’s a place close to my heart.
Some of us gathered there yesterday, pandemic or not, for one last family get together in the house. Joe’s mom was there, most of her children, a few grandchildren and one of her great grandchildren.
I took pictures, wanting to freeze time… to keep the house, and all of us together, forever.
But that is not to be, of course. 😢
A few pictures:
Joe’s oldest sister, his mom, me and Joe (caught in mid blink!) Love the group on the background… that’s how it always was… people everywhere, visiting and enjoying being together.
M visiting with Grandma and giving her a kiss…I’m not sure she knew much of what was going on around her, but she always seems to enjoy having her family around.
Joe’s mom “helping” his brother with one of her great grandbabies… she still loves babies!
Joe…
…and his mom with her three daughters…
I’m going to miss that place so much…